Pandemic Noir
Palm Springs Casket: Dead Queen in a Trailer
Thursday, April 16, 2020
His life has ended when I meet him.
The man who owned the decrepit trailer I’d like to buy for as little as it’s worth died last August. He was 87. The old trailer, new in 1968, has been subject to the slow grind of probate court since then. He didn’t leave a will or footprints to follow. Just the standard list of former addresses are available on the internet and probate documents from Riverside County. I speculate he wasn’t intimate with any relatives. The fact is he lived in filth. It was shocking to walk inside with the real estate agent. She arrived in a white luxury car. An odd fit for the small commission she can expect. She left me with a cartoon caricature of her on a business card, happy face and twig thin. She must have gained weight since then. I saved it.
The toilet’s water valve was rusted, and I couldn’t untwist it to test the flush. She told me not to try, afraid something would break. I want her to estimate how much it will cost to repair and she doesn’t want me counting problems. We’re not getting along. The old man never cleaned his feces off the bowl so an inch of ash brown waste is caked up like dried bark. After a desert summer in temperatures over 120 degrees it’s petrified. An archaeologist or forensic nutritionist could make a historical chart and reconstruct his diet by reading his excrement like tree rings. It’s the most personal relic of him 8 months after his death as I look inside his trailer-cum-casket. All his possessions have been removed, probably thrown out. The tub and bathroom sink are too worn to keep, same for mirrors and anything on hinges. What’s not unhinged would be with a bit more use. The bathroom was bad but so were the fixtures in kitchen and bedroom. The faucet was loose in kitchen sink. All electrical outlets were loose. The carpet was stinky and soiled. The plastic air conditioner was caramelized and brittle. And it wouldn’t start.
Perhaps he was unable to care for himself. Legally, the agent had to reveal he died in the trailer. So he must have been able to get to the grocery store and had enough memory to remain independent. I’m guessing the heir is a niece who hardly had met him. He was intestate so no one was close. His past addresses correspond to what one would expect for a gay man who spent life in Southern California: Hillcrest in San Diego; North Hollywood and Studio City in LA; Palm Springs in the desert. There were a couple of others places in the San Fernando Valley. Most neighbors I see on my slow drives around the mobile home park are gay men or lesbians.
According to the public records in Riverside County he wasn’t poor. There is $250,000 dollars in the estate. So, he could have made renovations to the trailer but chose not to. Maybe he was a pig or too cheap to hire someone. Perhaps he expected to live another 10 years and told himself he’d need every dime for the unforeseen.
I’ve spoken with the neighbor a few times. The neighbor has lived in his double wide trailer for 3 years. It’s in much better shape on a bigger lot. It’s typical of all others in the park, except the one I’m interested in which is the smallest on the smallest lot. The neighbor paid 35k three years ago for his. The Estate wants 20k for “mine” but they haven’t gotten it yet. First, I made a lowball bid and the agent ignored me. I contacted her again and instead of making a counteroffer she wrote get lost! I don’t like her style. I’ll make a higher bid but still won’t get it.
A few times I’ve driven by the neighbor is outside smoking next to “my” trailer. I questioned myself whether that would be a problem but dismissed it as I would relax outside on the opposite side out of smoke range. He seems like a friendly older gay man but did say something that didn’t fit. The last time I ran into him he mentioned the lock down in place order that had just gone into effect in Palm Springs due to the 2020 Corona Virus pandemic. He said he didn’t care because he was already under house arrest. That was unexpected. He’s at least 70 and seems gentle and easy going. I considered he might be joking. Or perhaps he got a drunk driving charge and can’t leave his property. It’s never too late until it is.
Cal Avocado 2020